It’s been over a month since I used the time machine so I thought I’d fire it up and go visit great, great, great, great Grandpa Johnson on Nantucket to see what was new in the wonderful world of 19th century dildo manufacturing.
Off to the time machine.
Here we go……..ttthhhhhhhppppptttt………………………………..
Hehehe I am back in Johnson’s on Nantucket, hmmm interesting a one legged captain just came in. What the heck does he want with Grandpa Johnson.
Captain: Hey Richard, how goes everything.
Richard: It’s going well Captain Bluenut. What brings you out this way today.
Captain: Well Richard, yar see I am goin on a whaling trip next week and I want to leave my wife something to keep her occupied while I’er away, if ya know why I’er mean .
Richard: Aye, Captain what did you have in mind?
Captain: Well Richard, I’d like ya to take my wooden leg and make her a dildo out of it. I just got me a new leg and thought it would be special if I used the old one to make her a pleasure toy. Waddya think?
Richard: Shouldn’t be a problem Captain Bluenut. Anything special you want me to do when I am shaping it.
Captain: Nah, Richard. I’ll leave it in ya trustworthy hands. Do ya think I could get it by Friday.
Richard: Aye, Friday shouldn’t be a problem Captain.
Captain: I’ll take my leave then. Thank ya once again Richard, yars is a noble craft and I’er am proud to call yar me neighbor.
Richard: Thanks so much Captain Bluenut. Have a good day and I will see you on Friday.
After the Captain left Grandpa Johnson stood there for a moment looking at the well worn wooden leg before he moved to the back of the shop, obviously the area in which he crafted these fine instruments of Whaling wives satisfaction.
The back of the shop was cluttered with a variety of lathe like equipment. All capable of turning any raw material into the finest of phallic fun sticks. As I stood there watching Grandpa Johnson the bell over the front door rang and Grandpa Johnson quickly moved back into the retail area.
Aye, Seaman Adams, how are you today, asked Grandpa Johnson.
“I be well Richard, but I am in need of a present for my girlfriend Phyllis before I go out to sea again next week.”
“Well Seaman Adams, if a Phallus for Phyllis is what you’re seeking you came to the right place. What is it you’re looking for.”
“I am most definitely looking for a phallus for Phyllis. Something not to big or expensive. You see my wallet is only a wee bit bigger than my robert thomas and I don’t want to set phallus expectations with Phyllis that I can’t fill. If you get what I mean, Richard.”
“Aye, I totally understand Seaman Adams, Phyllis doesn’t need a phallus to fill her rather a phallus to pleasure her.”
“Well Seaman Adams, I have this little device over here called, “The Tempest.”
“It’s called the tempest because it does quite a job waking up the man in the little boat.”
It’s quite easy to use – simply have Phyllis grab the phallus in the middle with one hand and with the other hand she spins the handle on top making the end of the phallus that Phyllis is holding gyrate causing the little man in the boat to wake up and take notice.
What do you think Seaman Adams.
Richard, I think that Phyllis will love this phallus. I’ll take it!
Damn, I am running outta time again, shit, I gotta go…..till next time….