A typical conversation with myself……
Me: Hello head.
Head: what do you want, I was busy
Me: Busy with what?
Head: really important stuff
me: no you weren’t
Head: yes I was
Me: no you weren’t. Don’t you think I’d know if my head was doing important stuff
Head: no, you weren’t paying attention so I went and was doing important stuff
Me: you’ve done nothing. You’ve thought of nothing. I should know, I am here and in the present
Head: that’s crap. You’ve been staring at the TV, that great brain dead activity.
Me: TV isn’t a brain dead activity
Head: yes it is
Me: no it’s not, you can learn a lot from some of the channels
Head: not the one’s your watching
Me: shut up stupid brain
Head: you shut up. As a matter of fact I can make you shut up. Hehehehe,
Me: you can shut me up by I can still think the words which is as good as talking as far as you are concerned
Head: you are such an ass
Me: ha, remember Jimmy Carter’s quote about lusting after people. Something about if you think it it’s just as bad as doing it. Guess Slick Willy took him at his word
Head: what the fuck are you talking about. Quit filling my head with useless info
Me: Me! You’re the stupid brain that thinks this shit up
Head: wasn’t me. It must have been your subconscious
Me: what are you talking about it was a conscious thought
Head: blah, blah, blah. You can’t even spell conscious
Me: how is that my fault, you’re my brain
Head: am not
Me: what do you mean, “am not?”
Head: I ain’t your brain
Me: we’ll if you’re not mine, who’s are you and why are you in my head
Head: ahhhh, I’m ah …..it’s top secret
Me: you are so full of crap
Head: okay, so I am your brain. But I am not happy about it, I’d rather be Paris Hilton’s brain
Me: what? That makes no sense
Head: it would definitely be more fun
Me: damn, you are such an idiot
Head: I am not an idiot, you’re the idiot
Me: you can’t call me an idiot without calling yourself an idiot, you idiot
Head: I can do anything I want you idiot, idiot, idiot
Me: you are impossible to argue with
Head: ha, it’s like arguing with yourself
Me: it is arguing with yourself you idiot
Head: fine, keep it up you asshole
Me: you are the one who keeps trying to get the last word in ass bag
Head: ass bag? What the hell is an ass bag?
Me: ha, your an ass bag
Head: keep it up and I’ll make you pee yourself tonight
Me: come on, that is so unfair
Head: go for it, close your eyes and try to sleep. I will fill your head with so many thoughts you’ll be awake till 4am.
Me: that’s just not right. You do that and I’ll wash down a couple Tylenol pm with some bourbon.
Head: try it and you are so waking up in a puddle. Don’t believe me?
Me: stop, that is so mean.
Head: hahahahaha, sleep well mr pissy pants