Monthly Archives: November 2009

Where there’s a will there are relatives

I slept on my arm all night and now I have to type with one hand.  The other hand feels like it is a balloon hand inflated with helium. 

Bob says,”hello.”  Yes, that Bob, my minature, talking, invisbile elephant friend. 

So I thought I’d do my annual fall cleaning of shit in my head.  Maybe that will get me jump started on the path to writing on a regular basis.  So hide the kids, put on your seatbelt (it’s mandated by the state of Massatwoshits), kick the car into overdrive, turn the radio up real loud (do new cars even have a radio these days) and take that fucking bluetooth thing outta your ear (it looks ridiculous) and get ready to feel much better about yourself.

From a sociological perspective I think the world would be a better place if we all didn’t try to force our “will” on people.  I mean, does it really matter what sex couples are who want to get married.  Much like, who the fuck are you to determine that your “religious” beliefs are better than mine.  Think about the strife in the world today and how much of that is related to one society imposing their “will” on another group of people.  I say, if it doesn’t negatively impact my ability to pursue happiness, my health or my ability to be who I want to be – why should I care what you do.

If every one of the emails I receive were true the following would be the case:

I would be debt free
My penis would be the size of a Sequoia and it would stay hard for way more than four hours
I can work at home and make $1,000 per hour
I would have so much hair that I’d need a damn weed wacker to keep it trim
I no longer would have to go to the pharmacy, I can get anything I want from this person who calls themself “me.”

Uggghhhhh – I love SPAM!!!!!!!

I have to admit, I didn’t think there was water on the moon.

The Large Hadron Collider is very intriguing.  My head hurts from thinking about the impact on physics and time-space theory.   Never mind being the potential vehicle to end the earth.  Don’t worry folks, even though this thing can potentially create microscopic black holes  it’s all cool.  This, from a CERN press release:

Microscopic black holes

Nature forms black holes when certain stars, much larger than our Sun, collapse on themselves at the end of their lives. They concentrate a very large amount of matter in a very small space. Speculations about microscopic black holes at the LHC refer to particles produced in the collisions of pairs of protons, each of which has an energy comparable to that of a mosquito in flight. Astronomical black holes are much heavier than anything that could be produced at the LHC.

According to the well-established properties of gravity, described by Einstein’s relativity, it is impossible for microscopic black holes to be produced at the LHC. There are, however, some speculative theories that predict the production of such particles at the LHC. All these theories predict that these particles would disintegrate immediately. Black holes, therefore, would have no time to start accreting matter and to cause macroscopic effects.

Although theory predicts that microscopic black holes decay rapidly, even hypothetical stable black holes can be shown to be harmless by studying  the consequences of their production by cosmic rays.  Whilst collisions at the LHC differ from cosmic-ray collisions with astronomical bodies like the Earth in that new particles produced in LHC collisions tend to move more slowly than those produced by cosmic rays, one can still demonstrate their safety.  The specific reasons for this depend whether the black holes are electrically charged, or neutral. Many stable black holes would be expected to be electrically charged, since they are created by charged particles.  In this case they would interact with ordinary matter and be stopped while traversing the Earth or Sun, whether produced by cosmic rays or the LHC. The fact that the Earth and Sun are still here rules out the possibility that cosmic rays or the LHC could produce dangerous charged microscopic black holes. If stable microscopic black holes had no electric charge, their interactions with the Earth would be very weak. Those produced by cosmic rays would pass harmlessly through the Earth into space, whereas those produced by the LHC could remain on Earth. However, there are much larger and denser astronomical bodies than the Earth in the Universe. Black holes produced in cosmic-ray collisions with bodies such as neutron stars and white dwarf stars would be brought to rest. The continued existence of such dense bodies, as well as the Earth, rules out the possibility of the LHC producing any dangerous black holes.

From one Collider to another Collider….no folks I don’t make this shit up!–15-hours-warning.html

With all this super technology why is it that we didn’t know about this object until 15 hours prior to potential impact.  When I think about it, I am glad I didn’t know about it. 

 That does pose an interesting psycho-social dilemma for us all.  What would you do if  you found out the earth and life as we know it was going to end in 15 hours.  Aside from the perfunctory – spend time / contact your loved ones, what else would you do?

Way to heavy a thought for so early in the morning.

Dom Quinto is my hero.  You see he is credited with inventing the leaf blower and I am allergic to rakes.  Actually, I am allergic to the action of raking leaves.  No seriously.  My hands break out in blisters every time I try to rake leaves.

My prediction – I will get the H1N1 virus a week before the vaccine is available to me. 

Sorry, I gotta go.  Bob is burning the pancakes.



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