Sunday night, day two after surgery and I am laying on my new bed – my couch. It has moments when it is the most comfortable piece of furniture ever and then there are times when it might as well be the Rack, you know, that medieval torture device featured by the Christians. I do believe it was one of the torture devices of choice for the Inquisition right after the soft cushions.
As I slide into yet another pain managed sleep my brain has decided that it has had too much rest and it’s time to fuck with me. The next thing I know I am walking on a sidewalk covered with ice and sure enough I begin to slip and fall. Just as I am about to hit the sidewalk and break my leg again every muscle in my body jerks in terror.
That, my friend, is what they call a Hypnic Jerk.. What a jerk. You probably had one of these. You know, you’re just about to fall asleep when you find yourself falling in space and just when you’re about to hit, every muscle in your body convulses in a perfectly staged event that scares the beejesus out of you.
Physically the jerk usually isn’t that big a deal, that is, if you don’t have your entire left leg below the knee immobilized due to the new bionics implanted by she-doc.
As I catch my breath from the Jerk I find myself in significant pain yet I am laughing. I am laughing because of all things the Jerk and my leg make me think of the classic logic paradox.
No not two doctors.
The classic paradox I am referring to is what happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object. Obviously from a logic perspective it is impossible to have both of these entities and we could spend a couple million words debating this classic paradox.
I can tell you from a practical application perspective in the case of the irresistible force – the hypnic Jerk vs the immovable object- my cast, I was the only loser. That force had no where to go but back into the infrastructure of my leg and boy oh boy did that hurt.
You know when someone has had too much to drink or have had to many synaptic provocateurs you may describe them as, “Fucked up.” It’s a pretty common phrase. Well I have new phrase to describe my state when I am adequately pain managed – “fogged up.” hehehehe
FYI – On Dr. Mike E’s recommendation I went 9 hours with no – zippo – pain medication today!