And now for something completely different


That my friends is the xray of my left fibula, yes the broken one.  That has put me on the shelf for a few days and after surgery tomorrow (Friday morning) will put me  on the disabled list for the better part of 3 months.  The recipe for disaster was simple, a perfect storm, a confluence of shit who’s timing was impeccable.  A ten month old sheep dog with his lead tangled around my right leg, all my weight on my left leg and ice.  Ice, ice baby – where is vanilla ice when you need him?

When I went down I knew it wasn’t good.  I didn’t hear a snapping sound or anything like that.  What I felt was a vibration.  The best way to explain it is if you take a good sized twig and try to snap it, just before the twig breaks you can feel a vibration in the twig then snap.  All I remember is feeling that vibration.

Actually the other thing I remember is being thankful that somehow in the midst of this cataclysmic event I had managed to fall in between the piles of dog shit on the ice.  It is funny today, but I am not sure if I would have found it funny then if I had done a face plant in one of those piles of crap. 

So the doc says she needs to go in and build a fucking bridge in my leg.  You know a few screws, a pin or two, maybe a plate, shit who knows maybe even a toll booth.  It seems that in my haste to fracture my fibula I’ve also managed to mess up my ankle and without all the hardware holding shit in place my ankle would not be much good to me in a few years.

So with much trepidation I’ve agreed to surgery.  The scary part if I was a fine tuned athlete like a thoroughbred horse I’d already be compost for the garden.  Thank god I fit the criteria for saving  –  fat, middle-aged bald guy with a penchant for no good.  hehehehehe . 

A few casual observations I’ve made in the past few days regarding our health care process.  First, I have health insurance so every health worker has treated me with great respect and care.  Almost like royalty.   Second, from the emergency room to the doctors office to the blood work lab to the cardiology testing center there wasn’t a clock to be had.  Nope not one.  I guess they figure if they don’t make a clock available you won’t realize how long you’ve waited to be seen.   Third, health care workers care.  Or at least they are putting on a tremendous front.   From the registration folks to the nurses to the lab assistants everyone seemed to care, which in today’s world, is so fucking important.

I know the world doesn’t need yet another blog about this fool going through some medical challenges and god knows it’s only a broken leg and fucked up ankle.  There are folks out there doing tremendous writing about their ability to live with cancer and all other kinds of serious shit.  Hopefully I can bring  a little laughter over the coming weeks to you and to me.  Lord knows I don’t look at shit like everyone else.



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2 responses to “Ouchie

  1. Well, at least we’ll be hearing more from you since you won’t be able to do anything else! How about putting some ski pole tips on your crutches? One broken bone at a time is plenty.

  2. Well this is Good News! Not only for the rest of us, who will now get to read stuff you’ll now have plenty of time to write…but also for you my friend…because after you rip through whatever kind of half-assed “painkillers” they no doubt prescribed you…you’ll then have plenty of time to catch up on your Alcoholism.

    Should come out of this thing like a real Pro…

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