Saturday at 11

Have you seen any of these man vs. wild or survivor man shows yet.  The basic premise is they drop some dude in the middle of no where and he then has to get somewhere.

In the course of the journey – which typically is restricted to a week – they climb shit, swim shit, eat shit – well not exactly shit but in one show the dude ate a snake, a spider and some bark.  Yum!

Well, if any of you out there in blog land know of any TV producers please have them contact me.  I have a great idea for a show, that I have to star in.

It too will be called something like….man vs. wild or survivor man, however, I don’t plan on being dropped in the amazon or atop the Grand Tetons.  Nope, I am going to jet to some of the most luxurious places on earth and really show folks how to survive.

I’ve compiled a list of places for consideration.  My schedule is pretty flexible so I could leave ASAP:

London – of course we’d have to stay at the Savoy
Monte Carlo – Hotel Hermitage during the F1 Grand Prix
Phuket – I just love the name
The “Hamptons”
Palm Springs
San Moritz – Badrutt’s Palace Hotel will work
Dubai – The Atlantis Hotel
Nevis – Four Seasons

The premise is I land in these places and for a few days I show folks how to survive.  We hit all the hot spots, we consume copious amounts of the best alcohol and synaptic provocateurs, and eat the best food.  In  between we check out what there is to do from an activities perspective – maybe crash a nice golf course or a nice rental car.  Who knows.  The cool thing would be to see this overweight, bald douche bag (me) “chilling”  in these cool places. 

Shit, I’d even take a sidekick.  Maybe Paris could free up some time and accompany me.  I am sure she knows her way around all these places and would be a kick ass tour guide. 

It would be like lifestyles of the rich and famous meets sara brown travel channel chick meets tony bourdain food channel monkey.

Come on, there has to be a producer out there that thinks this is a good idea.  With all the crap on TV you know folks will tune in to see the further adventures of the bald, fat dude’s luxury trip around the globe (with the hot side kick who has no idea how she got trapped into traveling with the fat dude).

In addition to all the great places we could do another set of shows going to the best gigs – you know, the Oscars, Grammy’s, great concerts in great places.  Think about how cool it would be to not have to see another one of those stupid red carpet Oscar shows.  Instead you got me walking around trying to get people to talk to me.  Getting into all the backroom stuff.  Getting drunk with Joan Rivers.  Come on – that would be funny as shit.  Man we would see shit.

Hehehehehehehe.  I’d do a whole nother blog just on my adventures.

So, Mr or Ms TV Producer – drop me an email.  I can leave next week.  Shit, nothing would be funnier than watching this fool walking down the beach in Nevis with a Speedo and my New England Winter tan working.  Ha.    Ewwww – speedo?

Operators are standing by.  Actually, shouldn’t the saying be, “Operators are sitting and waiting?”  Did Operators really stand?  Whoa, I have no idea where that came from.



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2 responses to “Saturday at 11

  1. A fine plan…except to spice things up a bit i think we should make it a competition…me against you. We go toe to toe. Who can find the most expensive bottle of liquor? Who can kidnap the HOTTEST sidekick? Who can crash the fanciest rental car?

    See ya There dude.

  2. bro

    Phuket! I can kick both yer ass’s

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