Don’t Fear the Leaf Dudes or should ya?

A few years ago…..actually about 20 years ago we had some fun with trick-or-treaters.  We were downtown P’boro at our friends house.  They had a ton of kids come that year.  

Anyway, I dressed up in some old clothes, put on gloves and a mask.  I stuffed leaves in my sleeves, in the chest area of the shirt, in the neck area and in my socks.  Totally, absolutely totally looking like one of dem stuffed leaf dudes people put on their lawns. 

I plopped down into a lawn chair on the deck right next to the stairs. 

Hehehehehehe

The poor unsuspecting bastards.

When the kids came to trick-or-treat I would wait until they came up on the deck.  I’d sit and wait until I was barely in their peripheral view.  That’s when I would move, slightly, just a wee bit of a move. 

Just a slight twitch, like a leaf had moved in my collar.

Their heads would spin around and they’d stare at me.  They’d stare right into the eyes of the mask…..looking to see any sign of life… 

I’d wait until they looked away and then move again.  Just a slight movement, nothing definitive, like a shadow.

Once again, they’d jerk their heads around and stare at me.  A stare you’d see as if they were looking into the dark woods for the boogy man himself.  Not really quite seeing, not really wanting to see whatever it was they were looking for.

hehehehehe, I had them right where I wanted them….

Sometimes that would be the end of it.  Maybe one more movement, nothing more.  Let them leave thinking about the leaf dude at the house on Main St.  Leave them talking amongst themselves about what they swore they saw.

Leave them thinking about the fear they felt.  You know, that little tingling on the back of your neck.

 Then there were the other times.

Once more I’d move so as to attract their stare.  I’d do this a couple of times.  You know, get them nudging their friends, whispering and pointing at the leaf dude.

It was at about this time that I’d move and scream BOO at the same time.

Hahahaha.

I almost felt bad when a few younger ones screamed and started to cry.  Hey, its Halloween ya little fucking gremlins….toughen up. 

I am sure I made more than a few of those trick-or-treaters leave a snickers or two in their costumes.

hehehehehe

Fear is a funny thing and the mind knows exactly how to tap into those fears.  Sometimes all it takes is that special key to unlock that fear door.  A key that you might not even know exists.  A door that you don’t even know exists.   A key like a leaf dude.

Leaf dudes ain’t suppose to move. 

Just like there ain’t suppose to really be a boogy man. 

So, next time you’re walking past one of dem leaf dudes and have the urge to kick or hit it.  Remember, sometimes things ain’t what they always appear to be. 

Maybe one of those times the leaf dude is gonna grab your leg and drag you screaming into the dark woods and introduce you to his friend, the boogyman. 

Then in the dark, damp woods the leaf dude and the boogyman will introduce you to a fear that your mind could never imagine. 

A fear your mind can’t comprehend. 

A fear your mind will never release you from…..a door that you can never close…..

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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1 Comment

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One response to “Don’t Fear the Leaf Dudes or should ya?

  1. Hang on a second while I dry my eyes….okay.

    I haven’t laughed that hard all week. That was pretty ruthless, you know? Scaring the crap out of little kids.

    The only incident I’ve witnessed where any little kids were scared silly on Halloween was when a friend’s dad decided to exact revenge on the little pissers that smashed his pumpkins every year. He saw them coming and crept outside in the shadows with a shotgun (unloaded) while we watched from the house. He waited until they practically had the pumpkins in their hands. The dad stepped into view with the shotgun up to his shoulder and said, “You boys picked the wrong house.” They scattered.

    I’m not entirely sure it was legal, but he didn’t have any smashed pumpkins that year or the next.

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