Pozitoodinally speaking – today is a great day!
Woke up before the alarm clock had a chance to jolt me awake for 5am, I love when I beat the fucking alarm clock. Nothing better than starting the day with a victory over that nemesis we call the alarm clock. I love the feeling of being able to reach over and turn the alarm off before it goes on. I am sure the snooze button appreciates it.
The poor snooze button gets nothing but abuse most mornings – here a slap, there a slap, stop the beeping with another slap.
So top of the morning to ya, Mr. Snooze button – feel free and sleep in. Fucker, trust me, we will meet again, very soon.
That’s my new life goal, be in a position financially where I don’t need an alarm clock….
Today, we’re heading west. I am going to the great city of Minneapolis. Not sure it’s a great city, actually I don’t know nuthin’ about the city. I do know it’s home to the Mall of America (largest mall in the US and maybe the world?). Not sure if that is something I’d be proud of or not. I am not a big mall fan. Actually I am not a big shopping fan. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against shopping, however I am a sniper shopper. I know what I want, I go directly there and get out quickly. None of this drive by touch everything in the store crap for me. I have no patience for people who are the touchers…..they touch every piece of clothes with the full knowledge they have no intention of buying any of it. Ughhh
Yep, the same Minneapolis where former Senator Craig did his infamous lookie-for-some-nookie in a bathroom at the airport. My goal today is to find that bathroom and see if it is truly the harbinger of evil. Then again, I may just have to go pee.
Well made it to Minneapolis and found a couple bathrooms and managed to take a leak or two and not get arrested for lewd behavior. Hmmm wonder what Craig’s issue was…. That said I did almost get attacked by one of them toilet seat paper cover automatic merry-go-round thingees. Damn thingee was spinning around like it was linda blairs cousin. I thought the dark lord satan himself or herself (Actually herself might be more appropriate) was gonna jump right outta the toilet with the paper seat cover as a sash…..heck instead of looking for toilet paper I was looking for a rosary….even I won’t touch that one….ok Pope B….
Sitting in Chicago as I type. Couple things in life are guaranteed….death, taxes and the 8pm flight to Hartford will ALWAYS, yes ALWAYS be delayed. I don’t really give a crap cuz it gives me a chance to have a lager or three, update my blog and do some serious people watching…..
People are the funniest mother-fuckers in the world….it’s amazing that we haven’t fucked this whole earth up and eliminated our species….and we call ourselves evolved…HA Watching people in the airport always reminds me of the Western, The Good, the bad and the ugly. That pretty much describes human kind. God willing the plane will go up and come down and sometime after midnight I’ll be back in the eastern time zone… Yea! Till then….