Word to my homies?

I am so unhip….I don ‘t even know how to spell homies (home -eez).  The other day I was listening to the radio and the name of the band came up OAR.  Cool I thought….Oar interesting name of a band….I was quickly corrected by some of the “younger” folks that work with me that it was actually O.A.R.  (each letter pronounced separately).  Soon  POD came on the radio…yep, not pod, but – P.O.D.  All was cool and then MOE came on the radio and I asked who the heck M, O, E is.  The laughter from my peeps was deafening.  It turned out that MOE is not M.O.E. it is actually Moe.  Ughhhh.

Had a great weekend…..made a giant Buddha sand castle (won 2nd place in the Family Category).  The Buddha idea came from my very cool nieces (P&B).  Shovelling a thousand pounds of sand was not cool.  I’ll try to get a picture posted in the next day or so.  Our sandcastle beemed pozitood.  We called it Buddhaful.  It was great to see everyone come by, try to figure out what it was and then as it dawned on them, watch the big grin come across their face.  Wicked Cool.

I did find it interesting that most kids under 14 yrs old had no issues identifying what the sandcastle was….Buddha.  There maybe hope yet for this planet of ours.  Not so interesting was the fact that most folks over 50 yrs old didn’t know what the fuck it was……gorilla, big fat happy guy, a self-portrait of me (mistakenly identified as my nieces father by a few observers), jabba the hut from star wars…ughhh…guess the catholic church did a good job in brainwashing these folks to not recognize anything other than baby jeebus…..speaking of jeebus, maybe next year we should do a nativity scene.  I wonder if the judges would throw our entry out on some technicality.  Shit years ago you could just plop a damn nativity scene on the common and be done with it.  Today you have to get a pass from the damn Supreme’s.  Oops, I meant Supreme Court.  Not sure if Ms. Ross and here gals would really help in that matter, then again with all of Dubbya’s appointees on the Sup. Court they ain’t much better.  It’s funny, you can’t put a nativity scene anywhere today, yet thousands flock to moss on the side of an uncleaned refrigerator because the moss looks like Mary.

Sorry, got on a wee bit of a tangent….. 

That was Saturday.  Sunday we then jetted over to Saratoga for a day at the races.  Like the famous Marx brothers movie from  1937, this was packed with lots of laughs.  Then again I am not sure anyone had a better line than Groucho did in the movie.  He was taking Harpo’s pulse and looks up and says, “Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.”  Did I say bettor lines?  Speaking of bettor lines, they weren’t too long.  Hahahahaha

The day was great, we made enough money to cover the cost of parking a few frozen tequilla drinks and left with our original stake intact. 

Ha, when I went back to edit this and reread the last sentence I forget the comma after parking and then decided to not put it in.  You ever try to park a few frozen tequilla drinks?    Five or six are no issue…try parking a whole lot of them…..then make sure the worm doesn’t get out….bastard worm.  

Good news.  My time machine is almost done.  What?  Yep, all done.  THe first stop the beginning of time.  That would actually be kinda bizzare.  When did time actually start?  Before anyone measured time did time even exist?  Hmmm.  What would happen if there was no time?  No time for what?   No, no time period.  The concept of time was unknown.  That might be kinda cool.  It would totally fuck up the watch industry.  The airline industry wouldn’t be impacted because they’ve treated travelers for years like there is no time.

No more inane conversation about what time is it?  Who the fuck cares, there is no time.  Think about all the shit you’d get done.  No longer could you say there is not time to get that done.  Sports would be all screwed up, except for baseball.

Football would be played until one team quit from exhaustion or was mauled by large penguins.  Large pengies would be funny. 

Just think, bars wouldn’t have to close – that is until they ran outta alcohol.  No such thing as happy hour. 

They would just advertise – happy.  No state would ever outlaw happy…..right?

Wow,  no more clocks.  Buses and trains would just run.  If you happened to catch one, all the better for you. 

No time, no yesterday, no tomorrow, just now.  It would make it really easy for you to embrace that pozitood and live in the moment…..Ha, you just wouldn’t know any better….Any better or any bettor?  Uh, oh here we go again.

Where was I, oh yeah, Saratoga.  What a beautiful day with great people and cold adult beverages.  The hit of the day was a horse named Dr. Rico.  Dr. Rico kicked some major butt for us bettors.  D and I put down a modest wager on the nag and lo and behold doesn’t the sonofabitch come from nowhere to win the damn race!  Did I tell you he went out at 31 to 1 and paid $65.50 on a $2 bet to win.

GOD BLESS DR. RICO – may you find your way to a stud farm where you can live out your days providing the seminal gift of life while servants swab your back and feed you the finest of hay!

It feels good to right, oops write. I must have been channeling Pat Robertson there for a moment…..Get outta me you bastard.  Flee my subconsciousness you fucker.  Out with ya.  Go bother someone who cares like Jerry Falwell.  Oh, sorry he’s gone….hmmm….how about Hilary Clinton….yeah that’s it…go infest her subconscious you bastard. 

Phew that was close.

Time to go make some dough….dough as in pizza dough you miserable capitalistic pigs….DOH!

Gratuitous recommendation that has not been paid for by anyone – the best movie I have seen in a long time  with the worst title is Hot Fuzz.  From the same folks that brought you Sean of the Dead.  Hot Fuzz will have you scratching you head, smiling and saying, “What the Fuck!”



1 Comment

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One response to “Word to my homies?

  1. Nancy

    I second – no time & “Happy”

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