Man, oh man oh man….what a freakin’ week we had.
I meant to follow up with the story of my first dirt bike experience a week ago; however, I went on a bender last week and am just now resurfacing….Yee Ha!
So as you know, I sucked at mountain bike riding…..guess what, I pretty much suck at dirt bike riding….
Some important things – first, I would never think about getting on one of these contraptions without a helmet, riding boots, gloves, riding pants and long sleeve shirt.
So here we were at Ludlow Fish and Game club…got the bikes down off the trailer and my training bike for the day was a very nice Yamaha 125cc, 4 stroke with electric start (a must have luxury for my lazy ass). The boys were riding a 450cc and a 250cc. The way I looked at it was that if these were dogs they’d be riding a German Shepard and Doberman and I a toy poodle. I didn’t care; even my ego was checked at the door.
After some simple instructions….where to sit, how to hold my arms, what the shifting sequence was (still can’t remember…is it 1 up and 4 down or 1 down and 4 up) I was ready to hit the dirt road and the sand pit.
HOLY SHIT! Those of you who have never ridden a dirt bike might think that 125 cc is a little baby bike….especially when it has to haul my fat ass around…..note….this thing cranked…..
So after spending an hour in the gravel pit trying not to run into anyone else or kill myself I thought I was getting a little more comfortable (boy was I wrong). The boys headed to the trails in the woods and my bro told me about this road I could go up and down practicing my turns, braking and shifting….Cool I thought….
So here I am cranking down this road, catching 4th gear, going very fast when I see the end of the road approaching and the berm going across the entire road…..what the FUCK! The berm is like a 2 foot speed bump….
SHHHHIIIIIIIIT, I hit that at way to fast a speed and soon realize that I am flying…..not a good thing without wings…..
Some how, I managed to reign in the bike a mere inches from a log that was going across this grassy area at the end of the road….oh the log was a foot and a half up in the air…..Trust me when I say I really had nothing to do with stopping the bike…in that moment of panic, yes panic, I just started hitting anything I could with both feet and grabbing every handle I could.
Returning to the trailer I found the boys and asked them about the berm and my bro looked at me and laughed and said, oops, I forgot about that…….
We stopped to re-hydrate and have a bite to eat when they convinced me to follow them on a trail. They said it led to a nice big open field where it was easy and fun to ride…..being the complete moron that I am I said OK.
HOLY SHIT! First it was down hill on a bed of rocks, then tight corners with tree’s inches from the handle bars….did I tell you I still am trying to figure out how to shift the fucking thing….Then came the water…..
First it was a 20 foot long mud puddle. As I approached it the boys were already through it looking at me. Ugh, I thought, “here’s the moment of truth.” Do I say fuck it and power through the puddle or turn the bike around and head back to the trailer. Those little voices battled for about 1/10th of a second when I felt my right hand rotate the throttle towards me and the bike lurched forward and blasted through the puddle like it wasn’t even there. YEE HA!
The boys gave me two thumbs up and quickly left me in their dust.
More puddles ensued and then there was the river. Remember we’re riding at a Fish & Game Club…..the river, 30 yards wide and I have no idea how deep….so once again my right hand rotated the throttle towards me and the bike took off into the river, down and down I went until the water, about 20 inches deeps filled my boots and soaked me. The bike was relentless and climbed out of the river onto the other bank. YEE HA!
Convinced I could now do anything I kept following the boys. More water and then a fated up hill right hand turn with a huge root near the top. SHIT! No one told me anything about how to handle an up hill turn with a root. SHIT, up I went got over the root and then realized the trail quickly turned left. With confidence I turned the handle bars to the left and realized that in getting over the root the front end of the bike was pointing straight up in the air. Hence my turning to the left was a lot like pissing in the wind…..not good.
What is next is a blur. Somehow the bike stopped between to pine trees. So close that the stubs of previously broken branches tore the right sleeve of my shirt yet didn’t touch my arm…..Phew…
Needless to say that I survived the ride, I did manage to fall two more times and shatter the front fender of the bike. It was both exhausting and exhilarating and I cannot wait for our next ride…