Please don’t step on my lung

Another glorious morning in the world.  Who knows what adventures lay ahead for the day?  I am particularly positudinal this morning because I can actually walk.  This fact was not assured when I went to bed last night.  You see, yesterday was day one for me.  Yep, yesterday was the first step in the long process of getting back into “shape.”  Not quite sure what “shape” I will end up in, however, the first step is always the hardest.

Much like everything in life, the first step is always the hardest….whether it’s starting a new relationship, repairing an existing relationship, taking a risk or working through change, the first step is always the hardest.

I find it interesting or frustrating that it is so much easier to fall outta shape than it is to get back into shape.  It’s like the allure of low impact workouts or low fat food.  My challenge is that I believe that low impact translates to little affect and low fat really means little taste.  So when I need to get back into shape I need to engage in high impact activities because I am going to continue to eat food that tastes, well like food.

So there we are (my bro and I) late yesterday afternoon doing a 3.2 mile hike up some little pimple ass mountain, actually a hill in the grand scheme of mountain thingees.

Holy fucking crappola….

The first part wasn’t too bad, but then again that was simply walking across the parking lot to the trail.  The trail on the other part, well, the title speaks for itself.  I am confident that at some point on the way up, after like my fifteenth rest-break, both my lungs jumped outta my chest and landed on the ground.  How else do I explain the fact that I was breathing like someone who just emerged from being underwater for like 30 years. 

Damn, I wish I didn’t like good food and beer so much.

So  here I am ascending this trail, and I use the word ascending lightly, I actually think that evolution moves faster than I was, when here comes the reincarnation of fucking bambi herself.  Yep, bambi, this daintilly little trail runner prancing up and down the fucking mountain side like it’s a goddamn balance beam.  Ugh, I was both frustrated and inspired.  Frustrated in that I am in such crappy shape and inspired because I too want to be able to prance up the mountainside.  Not that kind of prance you freaks.

I’d just like to be able to get up this hill with my lungs intact and my feet not feeling like someone switched them out on me and replaced my 9 1/2 boots with size 15.  Talk about plodding….right then I am the king of plodders.  Long live the king! Plod, plod, plod. 

Anyway, so we reach the top of Mt Norwottuck, have a brief sip of some electrolyte infused lime green beverage and head back down.  That was after begging to have a rescue copter come pick my sorry ass up off the mountain.

Ah, glorious down.  Down is great.  I don’t even miss my lungs.  That said my quadriceps and calves are screaming.  Hey, the most vertical work I’ve done for 6 months is going up the stairs in my house.

Down, down, down….Uh, oh those size 15 boots are back on my feet….I am confident that at this point my every step is being registered on the seismograph at the local college.   When all of a sudden I here a noise behind me.

Yep, here comes bambi again, prancing by us like a little forest nymph (not that kinda nymph you freaks) and disappears quickly down the trail.  Ughh, blam, blam, blam I continue to walk down the hill.  Actually I really wasn’t walking, just sort of guiding gravity in its quest to tumble my fat ass to the bottom where we started.

What a great way to take that first step.  I can say that cuz I am sitting on my ass typing this in my computer. 

So folks, if I could do it, you can too.  Take that first step today.  Whatever that special challenge is in your life.  Make that commitment and tackle your personal mountain.

OW, so much for not being in pain, just got a nasty cramp in my hammy.  OWWW

Ok, folks, so there may be a little pain in taking on that special challenge, but you know what, the pain will decrease and you’ll be infused with an energy you only get when you take that first step.



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