Monthly Archives: June 2007

hay now or is it hay mo?

hey  hay, why not

dsc_0039.jpg eclectic electric

peace rock n’ ripple

Ripple (hunter, garcia)

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,
Would you hear my voice come thru the music,
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

Its a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,
Perhaps theyre better left unsung.
I dont know, dont really care
Let there be songs to fill the air.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,
If your cup is full may it be again,
Let it be known there is a fountain,
That was not made by the hands of men.

There is a road, no simple highway,
Between the dawn and the dark of night,
And if you go no one may follow,
That path is for your steps alone.

Ripple in still water,
When there is no pebble tossed,
Nor wind to blow.

But if you fall you fall alone,
If you should stand then whos to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home.

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Peace, Piece, Peas

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A day in the life….

Woke up got out of bed, dragged a comb across my head

Obviously I really didn’t drag a comb across my head….that would be kinda silly since I got me no hair.  Shit I got more hair on my back than I do on my head.  Ewwww…..I can hear my niece’s saying….ewwwwww

Actually, I woke up today with these lyrics in my head.  Don’t know why.  For those folks old enough to remember the song is called, “A Day in the Life,” written by John Lennon and recorded at the fabled Abbey Road Studio in 1967.

So, how’s you positation doing today.  Mine is doing just fine.  Heck any time you get outta bed with a song in your head you know it’s gonna be a great day.

A true summer day here in New England.  Sitting here on my deck with a piping hot cup of joe I notice that I can’t see the mountains because of the dense fog/humidity in the air.  What do they call it…….Hazy, hot and humid! 

So have you started building your positation today?  Yes?  Great!  No?  Start now.

Sorry, just got back to finishing my thoughts….had to drive to work and that took longer than usual because I had to stop and look at the uncut hay fields.  Why stop and look at the hay fields?  Cuz I can.

Too often we spend our lives running from one task to another without ever taking the time to stop and “watch the hay.”  We get so consumed with getting shit done, we never stop to enjoy the moment.  We miss out on the fun of today.  I remember a great quote from this dude Colin Fletcher.  Actually I don’t remember the actual quote, I do remember the message.

He wrote a great book called, The Complete Hiker.”  It was a compilation of information from hiking skills, equipment reviews to ” survival how-to’s.”  The quote was about photography.  Mr. Fletcher said that too often we come to a beautiful vista, stop, grab our camera, take a quick picture, stuff the camera back in our bag and then continue hiking.  Never truly enjoying the moment and commiting the visual and emotion of the moment to our minds.  So, rather than have a special memory that you can cherish forever you end up with nothing more than just another photograph.

So folks, to help with your positation remember to stop and watch the hay.  Smell the hay, see the hay, feel the hay, be the hay.  What’s that you got no hay.  Shit you can do it with anything:  the ocean, a stream, a lake, a crowd of people, traffic flow, steam from your coffee….anything.

Sit, observe, be still, be focused, be single minded, be in the moment, be today.

Never hesitation always positation!  

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Some good shit!

How’s your PF doing today?

Mine is wicked fucking AWESOME!!!!  Barely 9 am and already have laughed my ass off!

I got up this glorious morning and took the dogs outside and as I was walking across the driveway in my barefeet I stepped in a pile of dog poo and it squished between my toes and I laughed.  Why, cuz I could.  The fact that my old dogs are still alive and pooping so that I still have the opportunity to step in their poop is a glorious thing.

Remember sometimes shit ain’t as bad as it seems.

Rock on!

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Got PF?

A common theme in a lot of my writings is about being positive and truly experiencing the moment – today. 

Too often something happens in one’s life or to friends that cause me to pause to reflect on whether I am practicing what I preach.  The old “pause for the cause.”

This week that something happened again.

I know I have written this before but as the White Stripes lyric goes, “it bears repeating now.”

As humans we always assume that tomorrow will always be there. 

For me and everyone else in the world, one day, this will not be true.  While this fact itself doesn’t ring with positude it does offer an incentive to embrace positude on a daily basis.

The past is done.  There is nothing you or anyone else can do to change the events that are now past.  The value of the past is that it is a learning vehicle. 

There is a BIG difference between learning today from the past and living today in the past. 

There are way to many folks out there who are living with guilt, regret, sadness or negativity that is derived from actions or inactions of the past that dictate how they live and interact with the world.  Three simple but very hard to follow words:

LET IT GO!

Negative or positive you need to take the experiences of the past and mold them everyday into a foundation of positudeness (PF).  It is not easy.  As a matter of fact it may be the hardest thing you do on a daily basis. 

Like growing a garden or building a stone wall, you have to make an investment in the activity to see them grow.  The PF investment is the most important investment you’ll ever make because you’re investing in you!

Like the garden or stone wall the more experience you have in gardening or stone wall construction the easier it becomes to make both of those a reality.  PF is no different except you have to do it everyday to start. 

There is a magical moment that occurs as you build and rebuild your PF on a daily basis.  The magical moment will be that you find it getting easier and easier to build your PF.  The building blocks that might have been difficult to form in the beginning due to negative energy are soon replaced with positive building blocks that fit right into the foundation.  You find yourself making a platform of positive energy that is stronger and bigger everyday.  It is an unbelievable feeling and each of you possesses the power to achieve that PF (positude foundation).   

Some of you will choose to embrace the opportunity to grow and build your PF.  That opportunity can start right now.  For today is just that, today – no more, no less.

Let me know what I can do to increase your PF!

As the great Mark Twain wrote, “Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”

Cheers

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Driving Commandments

Good to see the pope and da boys at the Vatican are keeping busy.  Just saw they released a set of ten commandments for the road.

Having an active imagination and a rudimentary background in Christianity I seem to recall that the original ten commandments were presented to a one Moses atop of Mount Sinai via a burning bush.  That may have been the movie version but I think it’s close.

So, do these new commandments come with the same dramatic flair?  Was the Pope mobile is going down the road when it suddenly came upon a burning tire?  Seeing this as a religious moment the Pope ordered his driver to pull over to investigate, where upon the pope got out and started talking to the burning tire which then revealed itself to the pope as I am who I am and started barking out driving commandments?

That reminds me of a funny pope joke….

The pope had landed at the airport and was picked up by a limousine and they started heading into the city for an important meeting when all of a sudden the pope tapped on the divider window.  The limo driver rolled down the window and asked his eminence what he wanted. 

“I want to drive the limo,” the pope said.

“But your excellency I am not sure that would be appropriate,” stated the driver

“Please, no one ever lets me drive,” the pope pleaded.

So reluctantly the driver pulled over and switched places with the pope.

Now the pope took off speeding down the highway at 15 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.

Sure enough, not two minutes later a cop was behind the limo with his lights on signally the limo to pull over.

With a sigh the pope pulled over.

The cop walked up to the window and took one look at the pope and ran back to his car and got on the radio to the chief

“Chief, chief, you’re not going to believe this.  I pulled over a limo for speeding and I think there is somebody really important inside.”

“McCarthy, what do you mean really important?  Is it the mayor?

“No”

“Is it the senator?”

“No”

“McCarthy, is it the damn president.”

“No.”

“McCarthy!  WHO THE HELL IS IT?

“Chief, I don’t know who it is, but he has the pope as a chauffeur!

Now back to the inspirational burning tire of I am…

Here are the commandments that were posted on line

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Now I don’t know about you but I am not sure 7am on route 128 going into Boston or I95 South going into NYC is really the right time for any type of communion.  As far as number 9 goes…maybe there is some truth to that saying that size matters….

That said, in the true spirit of positudeness I offer my own list of my own commandments.  Some quite simple and others a little more complex…

1.  If thou are making a turn use thee effing turn signal

2.  If thou lookest down the road and see a car quickly approaching do notest thou pull out directly in front of said car and proceed to go 10 miles an hour.

3.  When another car approacheth from thee other direction in the opposite lane thou does not need to apply ones brakes.

4.  When driving on the highway thou should not be applying eye makeup (especially if thou art a male).   Not that there is anything wrong with that.

5.  When driving on a highway thou shalt remember that the left lane is for going wicked fast, not wicked slow.  If thee finds oneself in this lane with a long line a cars behind thee thou shall pull over to the right lane and let the cars pass.

6.  If thou can read the digits on the radio in the car in front of thee, thee are tailgating which is strictly prohibited by I am who I am

7.  Thou shall not read the morning sports pages from the Boston Globe while going 75 miles per hour

8.  If thee cometh upon a traffic jam in which all three lanes of traffic are at a dead stop and one continues honking ones horn and changing lanes like Hillary Clinton changes her opinions thou shall be smitten in a horrible and nasty way.

9.  If one is driving in one direction on the highway and there happens to be an accident, or a policeman, or a tow truck, or a highway crew on the other side of the highway, it is not necessary to decrease ones speed by 45 miles per hour. 

10.  Last but not least, thou shalt braketh for small fury animals in the road way.  Failure to brake for very large, moose like animals in the roadway would just be stupid.

So folks, next time you’re out and about and come across a burning tire….maybe, just maybe you should get out and investigate.  With my luck I’d extinguish the burning tire thinking I was doing the right thing when in fact I’d probably be bringing armaggedon upon us. 

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Please don’t step on my lung

Another glorious morning in the world.  Who knows what adventures lay ahead for the day?  I am particularly positudinal this morning because I can actually walk.  This fact was not assured when I went to bed last night.  You see, yesterday was day one for me.  Yep, yesterday was the first step in the long process of getting back into “shape.”  Not quite sure what “shape” I will end up in, however, the first step is always the hardest.

Much like everything in life, the first step is always the hardest….whether it’s starting a new relationship, repairing an existing relationship, taking a risk or working through change, the first step is always the hardest.

I find it interesting or frustrating that it is so much easier to fall outta shape than it is to get back into shape.  It’s like the allure of low impact workouts or low fat food.  My challenge is that I believe that low impact translates to little affect and low fat really means little taste.  So when I need to get back into shape I need to engage in high impact activities because I am going to continue to eat food that tastes, well like food.

So there we are (my bro and I) late yesterday afternoon doing a 3.2 mile hike up some little pimple ass mountain, actually a hill in the grand scheme of mountain thingees.

Holy fucking crappola….

The first part wasn’t too bad, but then again that was simply walking across the parking lot to the trail.  The trail on the other part, well, the title speaks for itself.  I am confident that at some point on the way up, after like my fifteenth rest-break, both my lungs jumped outta my chest and landed on the ground.  How else do I explain the fact that I was breathing like someone who just emerged from being underwater for like 30 years. 

Damn, I wish I didn’t like good food and beer so much.

So  here I am ascending this trail, and I use the word ascending lightly, I actually think that evolution moves faster than I was, when here comes the reincarnation of fucking bambi herself.  Yep, bambi, this daintilly little trail runner prancing up and down the fucking mountain side like it’s a goddamn balance beam.  Ugh, I was both frustrated and inspired.  Frustrated in that I am in such crappy shape and inspired because I too want to be able to prance up the mountainside.  Not that kind of prance you freaks.

I’d just like to be able to get up this hill with my lungs intact and my feet not feeling like someone switched them out on me and replaced my 9 1/2 boots with size 15.  Talk about plodding….right then I am the king of plodders.  Long live the king! Plod, plod, plod. 

Anyway, so we reach the top of Mt Norwottuck, have a brief sip of some electrolyte infused lime green beverage and head back down.  That was after begging to have a rescue copter come pick my sorry ass up off the mountain.

Ah, glorious down.  Down is great.  I don’t even miss my lungs.  That said my quadriceps and calves are screaming.  Hey, the most vertical work I’ve done for 6 months is going up the stairs in my house.

Down, down, down….Uh, oh those size 15 boots are back on my feet….I am confident that at this point my every step is being registered on the seismograph at the local college.   When all of a sudden I here a noise behind me.

Yep, here comes bambi again, prancing by us like a little forest nymph (not that kinda nymph you freaks) and disappears quickly down the trail.  Ughh, blam, blam, blam I continue to walk down the hill.  Actually I really wasn’t walking, just sort of guiding gravity in its quest to tumble my fat ass to the bottom where we started.

What a great way to take that first step.  I can say that cuz I am sitting on my ass typing this in my computer. 

So folks, if I could do it, you can too.  Take that first step today.  Whatever that special challenge is in your life.  Make that commitment and tackle your personal mountain.

OW, so much for not being in pain, just got a nasty cramp in my hammy.  OWWW

Ok, folks, so there may be a little pain in taking on that special challenge, but you know what, the pain will decrease and you’ll be infused with an energy you only get when you take that first step.

Cheers 

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Why Bunt when you can Swing Away

Ah, I woke up today and the positive ions were all about me, along with a nice deep pillow crease down the right side of my face.  This can mean only one thing, a great night’s sleep.  One of those drooly, stick your face to the pillow sleeps.

Joke – Have you heard about the new corduroy pillow?  It’s making headlines.  Hahaha

So I sit here, shaking off a weeks worth of self induced sloth with a large piping hot cup of joe reflecting on the week that has just past when I realize I am freezing my ass off.  Yep my ass just literally froze and fell off.  It’s sitting on the ground like one of those plastic costume butts.  Now I have to stand, cuz without my ass I can’t sit.

Do you know how hard it is to type standing? 

Ha, duct tape.  I just found the 1,003 use for duct tape.  Yep, taping one’s ass back onto their body after it’s been frozen and fell off.  Hmmm, feels pretty comfortable, just hope the duct tape will hold when I take a shower.

So what the heck is going on, it’s 52 degrees outside.  Shit, it’s fucking June something it shouldn’t be this cold.  Where’s Al Gore when you need him.  At least I could sit in his hybrid car and warm up. 

Don’t ya love the people that tell ya that global warming can’t be true because it’s cold out in June.  Ha, ha, ha, ha….I love the fucking ignorant masses.  I can hear them a Camp davey now….

“Yep, George, so much for that globe warm thing.  If you ask me I think its’ a crock of shit.”

“Yur so right Dick, I’m fixin’ to turn on the furnace to warm up the camp.”

“Good thing we had that oil tank topped off last week George, cuz ya know burning all  those scooter libby and gonzalez documents would only heat this place for a couple days.”

“Ha, Dick, that’s funny, good thing you had the number of that company.  What was the name of it, halliberry, richardburton, haley’scomet, damn I can’t remember.”

“George, you are too funny.  It’s Halliburton.”

And so it goes……

Holy batman shit! 

I totally forgot that it’s Flag Day.  June 14th!  Yikes, I have done nothing to plan for this day.

Shit.  I don’t think my flag boxers are even clean.  Damn.  I’ll be right back.

Phew, sorry bout that, I had to get a load of laundry going….gotta have them flag boxers to wear.  If I only had a flag bandanna, that would be cool….or maybe a flag tattoo or flag socks. 

Oh man, I totally fucked this up.  I have no party planned, no invitations were sent out, nothing.  I got no cards to give anyone.  Hmmm, does Hallmark make Flag Day cards?  I am sure they do, they make em for every other day.

You know, like the glad your alive day card.

It has either a bunny or a bunch of balloons on the cover with a happy little person painted in pastel colors saying, “I am so glad” and on the inside it has some flowers and a soft cloud and says, “that you’re alive today.”  Blechht.

A wee bit of a tangent there….flag day.  Damn I don’t even have a flag to display.  Damn, does that make me un-American?  Damn, damn, damn.

Here are a few fun facts about the flag:

  • The flag should never be dipped to any person or thing. It is flown upside down only as a distress signal. (I never knew that about the distress thing.  I think one time I was kayaking and paddled past a boat with the flag upside down, I just thought they were stupid, I hope they weren’t in too much trouble).
  • The flag should not be used as a drapery, or for covering a speakers desk, draping a platform, or for any decoration in general. Bunting of blue, white and red stripes is available for these purposes. The blue stripe of the bunting should be on the top.
  • The flag should never be used for any advertising purpose. It should not be embroidered, printed or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions, handkerchiefs, napkins, boxes, or anything intended to be discarded after temporary use. Advertising signs should not be attached to the staff or halyard
  • The flag should not be used as part of a costume or athletic uniform, except that a flag patch may be used on the uniform of military personnel, fireman, policeman and members of patriotic organizations.
  • The flag should never have placed on it, or attached to it, any mark, insignia, letter, word, number, figure, or drawing of any kind.
  • The flag should never be used as a receptacle for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.

OK, I admit….if the above are like those ten commandment things I need to go to flag confessional cuz I have probably violated everyone of these.  Or at least known somebody that violated one of these.

Shit, can you imagine dropping a dime on grandma cuz she knitted a pillow with a flag in it.  He,he,he.  I can see it now…..the flag police busting grandma cuz she embroidered a fucking flag on a pillow.

I do have one question – what the fuck is a bunting? I thought bunting was a verb not a noun.  Wait, isn’t there a bird called a bunting?  Yea, yea an Indigo Bunting.  Maybe that’s what they mean….always make sure the indigo bunting sits on top.  Top of what.   I am confused….

Did you know that the Indigo Bunting migrates at night and uses the stars for navigation?  They master this skill as young little buntings observing the night sky.  Do you care?  You should and here’s why.  Next time you’re at a party and involved in one of those conversations from hell, interject this bunting fact.  Who cares what the conversation is about, just interrupt.  It will be righteously funny.  For example:

Person 1 “So, can you believe Jim and Barbara painted their house that awful blue.”

Person 2 “Well, it isn’t that bad, what about Bob and Joan’s new plastic fence.”

Person 1 “That’s bad, but I think the blue is worse.”

Person 2 “You may be right.  Did you see they have a new deli counter at the market.”

Person 1 “Oh yes, I bought a 1/2 pound of cheese there yesterday”

Person 2 “That is so funny, so did I.  Was it white American cheese?”

Person 1 “Oh, my god, how did you know”

You – “Did you know that the Indigo Bunting migrates at night using stars for navigation”

Person 1 ” Huh, I have to go to get more punch.”

Person 2 “Ah, no I didn’t know that, look it’s Janet, I gotta run, bye.”

Trust me – it works everytime! 

Cheers Mr. Speedway!  Way to swing away instead of bunting.  Too often folks play it safe.  Don’t want to risk it, don’t want to take a chance. 

Screw em, what good is it if the game ends and you’re still on first base.  

Good for you Mr. Speedway, take a chance steal second or swing for the fences.  It’s your game, play it to win and enjoy the adventure every fucking step of the way.

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