Just messin’ with y’all

This dude at the airport bar ask me where I was from and I told him I live in Massachusetts.  The following is my best recollection of the conversation….sorry…I be getting old…..

Fellow Road Warrior (FRW):  Y’all live in Massachusetts, that’s funny y’all don’t sound like your from Massachusetts.

Me:  Funny?  What exactly am I supposed to sound like? Who is y’all?

FRW:  You know, like, y’all suppose to say cah. Instead of car.

Me:  Oh, you mean, pahk the cah in the Hahvahd yahd?

FRW:  Yea, that’s it.

Me:  Yep,  like me saying that I am from Bahstahn  instead of Boston?

FRW:  Ha, ha, ha that’s it….exactly… 

Me:  Sorry, I only live in Massachusetts, I grew up in Connecticut.

FRW:  What kind of accent do y’all get in Connecticut?

Me:  You get nothing. 

FRW:  That sucks

Me:  Not sure it sucks, you’re from Texas right?

FRW:  Yep, how did you know?

Me:  It’s that fixin’ twang  and all the y’all’s.

FRW:  Really, I never noticed it

Me:  You don’t travel alot do you?

FRW:  Nope, came down heer to Floriduh to look at a car

Me:  A truck

FRW:  Damn, how’d y’all know

Me:  It’s easy, up there in New England we all be wicket smaht

FRW:  Y’all one funny bastard

Me:  If you’re from Bahstan you say Bahstahd

FRW:  Ha, ha, ha sorry I said it wrong.

Me:  That’s OK, Where are the ho’s at?

FRW:  WHAT?

Me:  You heard me, where are the ho’s at?

FRW:  WHAT?

Me:  Sorry dude, I was just fucking with ya….I ain’t really looking for any ho’s…..unless you know where they are

FRW:  Ha (a very weak laugh), WHAT?  I gotta go my planes leaving in a little while…

Me: Later FRW, safe travels….watch out for dem ho’s…hehehehehehe

Well, FRW left and it I began thinking about Connecticut.  I was really kidding about the ho’s….maybe. Back to Connecticut.

Here are some little known facts about Connecticut, if you know them piss off, at least I didn’t know them….

The state animal is a Sperm Whale…hmmm…that’s bizzaro….ain’t a Sperm whale a mammal?  Have you ever seen a sperm whale in Long Island sound?  I know I’ve seen some sperm whales on the beach but I’ll save that for another post.

The state motto is, “he who transplanted still sustains.”  What the fuck does that mean.  Who the hell ends up transplanted in Connecticut and what did they sustain?

Connecticut passed the first automobile law in 1901.  The law was setting the speed limit at 12 miles an hour.  So that leads me to a simple question –  Do Connecticut drivers know that the law has changed? 

Speaking of Connecticut roads, is it my imagination or has Route 84, Route 91 and Route 95 been under construction since prior to the invention of the combustion engine?

There are many good things to like about Connecticut – Pepe’s Pizza for example…simply the best pizza in the world…the Huskies remain a great sports franchise  both the Ladies and the Men…..ah, and, ah……..

So I admit it!  I was born and raised in Connecticut.  So by birthright I am a Connecticuter or a Nutmegger or a Yankee or as Cotton Mather called us a Connecticotian or lastly as Samuel Peter called us a Connecticutensian.  What ever. 

Bottom line I am going out and buying a Carolina Hurricanes jersey and celebrate the fact I have no accent, no professional teams and the Sperm Whale as the state animal. Yee fucking ha.

 Note:  The Carolina Hurricanes are formerly the Hartford Whalers.  Due to the apathetic support the team received they relocated to North Carolina and promptly won the Stanley Cup.   Only in Connecticut…

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