I spent an hour today babysitting a 2 1/2 year old. Boy am I exhausted. What a time did we have. To start we counted to ten a number of times. Well we tried. It was all I could do to convince him that six followed fife I mean five. It did not go, fife, nine, seven, eight…..nope not interested in the funny bald man’s way of counting.
He was a boy possessed about that nine. One, two, fee, four, fife, nine, seven, eight, ten. Not sure what six ever did to him but he wanted no part of that number. Then again, he seemed to get it when I allowed him to hit me in the head with a stick while screaming out the numbers. We had no trouble getting six worked into the equation. Probably not the best way to reinforce counting but what the heck, it’s no worse than a big yellow bird banging on trashcans. Plus there are more than a few teachers out there that could use a whack or two….Not that I am denigrating the teaching profession. There are a lot of really excellent teachers out there (Cheryl and Pete to name a few). However, there are many kids out there who are not challenged in the course of a public education and for this there is no excuse. Bored will kill ya quicker than carpet coated punji sticks. Wow, where did that rant come from…..must be something I suppressed in my youth….probably when I too was bored in school….that’s why we invented synaptic provocateurs…hehehehe
OK, we got through the counting and then moved on to sports. First it was hockey, then pool, then football and then we combined them all into a hydrid game I call ockypooball. I involves a hockey sticks (actually small pool cues used to strike things on the a small toy pool table) and a plastic football. From the welt across my forehead I would say it was a smashing success. Smashing may be a poor choice of words…oh well.
We were about a forty-five minutes into our babysitting gig when I had run out of entertainment ideas. Yes I did the disappearing coin pull it out of his ear trick…he was on to me. I think he only fell for it a couple dozen times and then began hitting me in the head again. Something about a shaved head that must appeal to those under 3 years old….
Sort of that John Locke….tabula rasa…blank slate…thing…maybe, maybe not
Then it came to me….what 2 1/2 year old boy doesn’t love Spiderman? Boy was I in luck. First it was singing the song:
Spiderman, Spiderman does whatever a spider can, spins a web any size, catches thieves just like flies, look out here comes the Spiderman…..over and over and over….he loved it.
Then I remembered this awesome version of the song done by The Sundresses – http://www.myspace.com/thesundresses then click on Spiderman Theme Song….wicked good. I had the pleasure of seeing them at Geno’s in Portland, Maine – http://www.myspace.com/genosrockclub. Great place, great people great vibe and The Sundresses kicked ass. Sorry about the tangent…
So next up was calling him on the phone (cell phone) and pretending to be Spiderman. He was not really impressed. I asked him how he was and he replied, “I went peepee in the potty.” I shit you not. That was his very first sentence to the Spiderman imposter on the phone….Then again maybe he knew all along.
Damn, I hate getting outsmarted by a 2 1/2 year old.
About that time his mom showed up and he was gone…all googoo for mom. It must be those boobies….I guess if I spent most of my earlier childhood feasting on some of the finest sweater meat in the valley I could have appreciated his general disregard for my simple existence.
As they were leaving I did hear him ask mom if they could call Spiderman…hehehehe…maybe next time Spiderman will ask him if he went poopy in the potty.
Till then crime fighters…