Neighbors and the Giant Penis

Ah, where is Fred Rogers when you need him.  You remember Fred, he was the dude on PBS in mid afternoon years ago, with the funny sneakers and sweater.  He had a puppet named King Friday.  Enough about Fred.  More about his cute little catch phrase, “won’t you be my neighbor.”  Well here is a good neighbor dilemma. 

My nephew and his friend were at my house last week end and while my brother and I were out they decided it would be funny to construct a giant snow penis.  Yes I said snow penis.  And yes, it was giant.  It was also a work of art, complete with beach ball sized testicles and yes even the main vein was readily apparent.

My dilemma is that my neighbors (with two daughters) called and asked them to take down the “sculpture.”  Hehehehe, they said sculpture.  Being the good guys that they are, my nephew and his friend immediately took down the sculpture.   Now I wasn’t present for the take down, nor did I ask them how they did it but I have some thoughts. 

Maybe they walked over and kicked it in it’s snowballs?  Maybe they called the viagra line you have to call if you have an erection for me than 4 hours and held the phone upto the giant snow phallus.  Trust me, at my age if I have an erection for more than 4 hours I am calling the Guinness book of world records not some help line.  Who knows,  maybe they made it jump into cold water?  Hmmm, would cold water make a snow johnson shrink?  Hmmm.  All I know is that they did what they thought was the right thing which was to lower the boom and drop the dong.

I’ve been thinking about this over the past few days and I am not sure it was the right decision.  From a neighborly perspective it was the right thing to do, but in this day and age of political correctness I think a giant snow weiner is pretty harmless.  It’s not like they made a giant snow weapon of mass destruction or a giant likeness of Hillary Obama.  Heck all it was, was a frosty snow wang.

So my question to you is, if you came home one day and your neighbor had constructed a giant snow pud in their yard would it offend you?  Would you drop a dime and make them circumcise the snow schlong from their yard? 

To be fair maybe we could have fashioned a giant snow beaver with enormous teeth and a large tail. Maybe even a giant snow clam.


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