Don’t look at the sun when the washer is on its 25th spin cycle

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Holy fucking shit – the Sun already began it’s solar cycle # 25, totally, I mean totally skipping solar cycle #24.  Holy fucking shit!  You can read about it here http://xrt.cfa.harvard.edu/resources/pubs/savc0707.pdf . Also if you can translate the following into english I would appreciate it:  

 

 The velocity of this transverse motion is, on average, 20kms−1. The direction of the transverse motion, in combination with the standard reconnection model for jet production (e.g. Shibata et al. 1992), reflects the magnetic polarity orientation of the ephemeral active region at the base of the jet. From this signature, we find that during the present minimum phase of the solar cycle the jet-base ephemeral active regions in the polar coronal holes had a preferred east-west direction, and that this direction reversed during the cycle’s progression through minimum.

I ain’t stupid but what the fuck does that mean.  Do I need to build that underground solar cycle #26 shelter yet?  Yikes.

How about this paragraph:

We also separated the sample of jets in the two poles in time, in order to check for differences with the evolution of the solar cycle. It seems that earlier (during Cycle 23) -23 Nov 2006 – 71% of the transverse moving jets (or 62% of the total number of jets from Cycle 23) at the North pole move westward while the data from September and October 2008 (Cycle 24) show that 69% move to the East. Similarly, for the South pole in early 2007, 70% of the jets with transverse velocities move to the West while in late 2008 and early 2009 84% move to the East (or 37% of the total number of jets). This hints at a dependence of the jet transverse velocity direction on the solar cycle. The information on the number of jets with both directions of transverse velocities for both poles and both cycles is summarized in Table 1. We have proposed a plan for regular South and North pole observations for the extent of the entire Hinode mission to further confirm this result.

Holy crap bat boy, I can barely see the computer screen it’s covered in blood and brain matter because my fucking head just exploded.  Damn these dudes are wicked smart.

The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on.
He took a face from the ancient gallery and then he walked on down the hall.
He went into the room where his sister lived and then he paid a visit to his brother and then he walked on down the hallway.

He came to a door and looked inside………

and sure enough, what did he see, the damn sun in it’s 25th cycle, leaving the poor 24th cycle to wonder what it did to get skipped like it was chopped fucking liver.

So I got an email the other day and it simply said, “What the fuck have you been up to and why aren’t you writing?”

It caused me to pause and think, hmmmm what the fuck have I been up to and why aren’t I writing?  I immediately opened the next 15 emails that promised me that they’d enlarge my penis to a size that would be astronomical and maybe the cause for the sun to skip yet another solar cycle.

How long is a solar cycle.  No offense ladies but we can only hope its nothing like the menstrual cycle.  According to some internet resources the solar cycle is determined by counting the placement and frequency of sunspots on the sun.  The cycle historically has ranged from 9 to 14 years.  YIKES!

Here’s a cool website dedicated to the Solar and Heliospheric atmosphere….wicked photos….http://sohowww.nascom.nasa.gov/data/realtime/eit_171/512/ 

Getting back to the email…..I’ve had a terrible case of writers block and to be honest hating the world.  Or at least the world I’ve created.  But who the fuck wants to hear my whiny ass shit.

Gotta go, will write soon.  I have been working on my time machine and it’s just about ready to go.  Go where, who the hell knows, but go we will and I look forward to having you along for the ride.

Till then…….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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