What’s worse -catching your penis in your zipper or unzipping your penis from your zipper….
I hate that one second when you realize you stubbed your little toe on the door frame or the 2 seconds you spend waiting for the pain to hit your brain
What’s worse…..An empty bottle of tequila or an empty bottle of aspirin
Can you believe how much pain is associated with pulling out a nose hair…they feel like they’re connected to the optic nerve
What’s worse….Having loud unintelligible voices in your head or having clear voices that you listen to
Bush sucks….not the band or the pubic hair..actually the band might suck…
Listening is the most important thing you can do
No one reads signs so can you imagine how few people read books
I don’t care about being apathetic
Peanut butter and jelly is under-rated
People who are ignorant really bug me. PS There are a lot of ignorant people in this country
I want my hair back or is it I want back hair
Live for right now - to many people are mired in trying to change the past – hint you can’t and there’s another set of people who are so concerned about tomorrow that they can’t enjoy right now.
Donuts are cool
What’s better – the best cup of coffee ever or the best beer ever. If you could have only one ….which one….
What’s better an incredible sunrise or sunset? I am all for the sunrise - cuz then you got the whole day in front of you unless of course you’re on a 3 day bender and the reason you saw the sunrise is that you’ve been awake for 72 hours
Opioid Peptides rule
I like fucking with golfers … just cuz
I am really lucky
I’d rather be lucky than good any day
